Every Mile a Memory

I am not entirely sure why this thought came to me last night, but in the middle of my 'quiet time' I remembered some wisdom given to me years ago.

This is how I remember it...

I'd suffered for several years as a teen with migraines so intense that the only way to get rid of them was to sleep. I had been prescribed several different pain killers, but sleep was the only solution. My parents had taken me to several different doctors and I was given test after test, but we could never find the source of my headaches. Finally, my pediatrician scheduled an MRI. Within just a few hours after leaving the hospital, my parents and I were called in to my doctor's office for the news.

I had a brain tumor.

I was 14.

Not exactly what we wanted to hear. An astrocytoma located near my brain stem. Thankfully, it was benign and not very big.

The next day, we went in to see a local neurologist. He told us he would not perform the surgery, but recommended we see a neurologist in Memphis. So we scheduled an appointment and the next week we made the trip. Dr. Boop looked at my MRI and told me that my migraines were probably not caused by the tumor because it was so small. He said that it wasn't necessary at the time to have the tumor removed, though sometime in my life it would need to come out.

Who in the world would want something like that hanging out in their brain?!

My parents and I talked about it and I was adamant that we should schedule surgery. Surgery was scheduled for February 22, 2000. And the words that Dr. Boop said to me regarding the upcoming experience have stayed with me ever since.

He said, 'In a few years, you'll look back at this and it will only be a bad memory.'

And 11+ years later, that's what it is. Just a bad memory. Of course, it was an extremely difficult and fear-filled time in my life. A lot happened. Life changed. But I was so blessed in spite of everything that happened. Less than a year before, Jesus saved me, so I had a faith that carried me through. I had amazing support and love from my family. My friends were wonderful. And I learned so much.

Because it has been years, I can usually talk about the experience like it was no big deal, just another day. It certainly wasn't just another day; it was a defining time in my life. But I am who I am because of it. And I'm grateful for that time. I know now that when difficult times come, that one day it will just be a bad memory. But if I trust God to lead me through, it will be worth it.

Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.
Isaiah 48:10

(Of course there are many details I've left out, but these are the main events!)