What Do You Want?!

I hate change. Period. There's no way around it. I am the "ultimate creature-of-habit" and I would really appreciate if life didn't keep throwing me curve balls. But, then again, that's life. And where would we be if not for those darn curve balls, right?

I worked for the Holmans (July '08) and the Smiths (January '10). I love both these families dearly. Their children are forever a part of who I am. Earlier this year (maybe in February?), they told me that it was time for their kids to go to preschool. This would happen in April. I wasn't really surprised by this news, kids grow up. So even though I knew the separation would be devastating, I was fine with it. I began thinking and praying, trying to figure out what was next for me. I applied for jobs at random. Just hoping that something would be offered and that would be my sign of what I was suppose to do. It didn't happen. Not only was I dealing with "losing" my job, I couldn't find a new job or even figure out what I was suppose to be doing. AND we decided we should move back to Fayetteville, in hopes that it would help us out in the long run. In addition to all that, Derek works awful hours and we've been trying to find an early church service so we can go TOGETHER. Curve balls.

I have never 'not' known what I am suppose to do. Not knowing felt impossible to me. It felt like I wasn't meant for anything else. I'm not the kind of person that enjoys sitting at home with nothing to do. And with it only being Derek and me, it's not like I have a lot of housework or projects to keep up with. Let alone that without a job, I couldn't afford to create projects! I just turned 26 and there's a part of me that feels like I've done nothing. I didn't do LIFE in order, the way you're suppose to. I didn't go to college right after high school, I got married young, and I still don't have kids. I've made a lot of mistakes on the way. But I don't regret a day, a decision. I've trusted God to get me this far and He has. He's led the way and provided every step of the way. He has a plan, even if I'm not sure what it is yet. In 6+ years of marriage, I've learned that every 'curve ball' is temporary. And I've also learned that even if I don't like change, it usually turns out to be the best thing for me. I can appreciate it when it comes now. I'm applying for college and still applying for jobs. I'm not entirely sure what's next, but I've realized after all of this craziness, for now I just need to be still and trust that there IS a 'next.'

"Life is good, love is sweet, and time seems like it'll last forever." (Every Now and Then, Karen Kingsbury)

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." Galatians 6:9