Before you continue reading, please go to Holley's blog and read this post.
I heard a clip of this on KLRC one day about a year ago and it fit our waiting so perfectly. I still read it on occasion to remind myself how perfect God's timing is.
I look around my home and see things I had almost given up on ever having. I look down the hall and see a crib. In the kitchen are bottles and bibs. In the bathroom are tiny little hooded towels.
Years have been filled with many emotions. Hope, excitement, possibilities. And there have been many days of doubt, disappointment, discouragement. The only thing that has never changed is my dream to be a mom. All I've ever hoped to be in this life is a wife and a mother. And for a very long time it seemed that dream would never come true. There was a point that I couldn't even pray for us to have children. My heart was so hurt and tired of waiting. I knew that God COULD give us children, but I began to wonder if He WOULD. I began feeling unworthy of being a mom. But I couldn't seem to let go of my desire. I believe that God gives us dreams and if those dreams become impossible, He gives us new ones. Even in the midst of "trying to be realistic" the hope never went away.
After ten years of marriage and waiting, I am now a mama.
My heart is so overwhelmed with emotions that I can barely process. You see, the dream of becoming a mother was not fulfilled in ways that I expected. I did not become pregnant, but I now have a son. If you have read my previous post you know the beginning of our story. We have been given the gift of adoption. And from the moment we were asked to become parents through adoption, every single day has been an act of faith. We chose to walk this journey knowing that the end may not result in parenthood. Knowing there was the possibility of our birth mom changing her mind. But when God gives you this kind of opportunity to stretch your faith, you cannot take it lightly. You cannot go about it half-heartedly. We chose to believe that whatever the outcome, God had a purpose for the journey. We had to invest ourselves completely, choosing to believe that this baby was ours. Most people were encouraging and excited for us. Then there were those who questioned whether or not the adoption was worth the fear and worry. No matter how you become a parent, there's always the possibility of something going wrong.
When God plants something so deeply in your heart, you can't let go of it. Press on. The path to your destination isn't going to be straight. There will be hills to climb, valleys to travel, rivers to cross. But in the end, no matter what the outcome is, it will always be God's best for you if you allow Him to work and stand firm in your faith. (Romans 8:28)
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