These Hard Times

February 22, 2013 marks the thirteenth anniversary of the day my Astrocytoma / Glioma was removed. It has been a long time since that day and I don't typically spend a lot of time thinking about that period of my life.

I had horrible headaches everyday. (I'm reluctant to call them migraines but I guess that's what they really were.) I'd go to school and by the time I got home I was in so much pain I could barely function. Somehow I managed to keep up with my school work, but as soon as it was finished I was in bed. I did see my doctor and was prescribed pain pills. They didn't help. This went on for months.  Then the migraines stopped.

Life went back to normal for a short while and then the headaches returned. Back to the doctor. Tests showed no cause. Attempted another preventative prescription that basically wiped me out and I felt worse taking it than without it.

Back to the doctor. Time for an MRI.
It was scheduled for a Tuesday in January. After it was over, I went home, expecting to hear results in a couple of days. My doctor called that afternoon. He needed to see us immediately.

Mom, Dad, and I listened to the news. I had a brain tumor. I remember hearing those words and not feeling anything. It took a while to sink in.

I was scheduled to see a neurologist the next day. He told us that he would not feel comfortable performing surgery due to the location of the tumor. He recommended we see a neurologist in Memphis. I had an appointment the next week.

We made the 5 hour drive and the doctor told me the tumor was not the source of my headaches. It had probably started growing when I was just a few years old, but wasn't large enough to cause the pain I was in. It wasn't necessary to remove it now, but would be eventually.

I was convinced now was the time to get it out! Why wait?

Surgery was scheduled 5 weeks from the day I found out I had cancer.

My family and I arrived in Memphis the day before surgery. I don't remember much about that day. The next day, my sister (who was due to have my niece 2 weeks later) arrived to be there as well. We were at the LeBohneur Children's Hospital at 6:00am. They began preparing me for surgery around 1:00. That was a long day of waiting. Before I was rolled in to the Operating Room, I was given a few minutes with my parents.

I remember counting down from 100 as the anesthesiologist was putting me under. I may have made it to 97... Ha! It was very quick. The next thing I remember is being in the recovery room making every attempt to open my eyes. I remember my aunt and uncle coming in to see me. I was in the hospital for 5 more days. I remember having tunnel vision for a few days and not being able to see well. I watched the Wizard of Oz and talked to my boyfriend on the phone. The first meal I ate was chicken nuggets and Reese's. My little brother was worried that I wouldn't be able to talk again. I had several visitors drive to Memphis to see me. A friend of a friend who worked at St. Jude sent me muffins. It's funny the things that I can recall about that week.

We left on Sunday. A 5 hour drive on I-40.

I went back a month later for a follow-up. Everything was good. The tumor was benign. I made many trips back to Memphis over the next ten years. I'd see my surgeon and have MRIs at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital just to make sure the cancer would not return. Eventually I quit seeing my surgeon and would just go to St. Jude. After ten years of being cancer free, I was released from care of the hospital. That was a sweet, sweet day.

St. Jude will forever hold a special place in my heart. We never received a bill. The entire staff is nothing but optimistic and treats every family with kindness and respect. Though I am no longer a patient there, my relationship with the hospital will never end. I have the pleasure of participating in a lifelong study with them. I voluntarily will subject myself to a list of tests in order to further the research. It is because of this hospital that so many miracles occur.

After 13 years, I still endure headaches on occasion. After surgery and in the follow-up process, I was eventually diagnosed with a combination of migraines and cluster headaches (I will get them regularly for several days or weeks, then may not have any at all for months). However, these headaches are NOTHING compared to pre-surgery ones. There will never be enough words to express my gratitude for that season. The people who walked by my side, though many are no longer a part of my life, are truly cherished. My experience was nothing compared to so many patients I met along the way. I was taught a valuable lesson about how precious life is. My heart is forever grateful!