Perfection is the Enemy

I'm a mess.

I'm broken.

I'm imperfection at its best.

I do not have it together.

I have always had this picture in my mind of what I want people to see in me, of what grace and beauty and joy look like. The image of a true Proverbs 31 woman. And I strive on a daily basis to obtain what seems like an impossible goal. The harder I try, the further away I find myself from that lovely, patient woman who wakes up early and makes sure her family has a hot meal to start the day, clean clothes, all the chores are complete. She knows how to keep her mouth shut at the right times yet has the exact words her husband needs to hear when his heart needs encouragement. She has what seems to be a never-ending energy and is constantly productive but she also finds time to steal away and fill up on the goodness of God. The image she projects in public is one her family can be proud of.

I so desperately want to be that kind of woman.

But I'm not.

Some days I'm moody, unmotivated, impatient, just all-around unpleasant. (Just ask my husband!) I try my very best to hide my not-so-together days from the world but I'm certain I fail that as well.

I am making an effort to grow into that beautiful woman, but I'm learning that it isn't going to happen overnight. You see, I NEED my failures and lessons to teach me how to do better. I also need to understand that even though I fail at perfection, I am loved by the Perfect One. And I don't need to be perfect because He is. One of the most amazing things that I have learned in the past few years is that God created me.

Ok, I know what you're thinking. Of course God created me. But my point is that He knows exactly what  He's getting because He created me. He created every single aspect that makes me who I am. My love for ghost stories, my sarcasm, the difficulty I have sticking to a project, my OCD tendancies, the battles I have with depression on occasion.  God knows all about all those things. And He STILL LOVES ME!!

Gosh, that just blows me away. How despite my flaws, God still loves me. And He loves your flaws, too.

I'm finding that the more I own up to my failures, the greater love I can give to others. The more I fail, the more I love. Because it's really easy to judge someone else when you don't admit your imperfections, but when you choose to admit you're broken, your ability for compassion increases and you can give grace to others. And I honestly feel like God loves me even more when I fall. Because it's in those moments that I need it more. Don't you agree? We need more love at our weakest moments.

I know that in this life, I will never be able to live up to that image of perfection that I have. I am trying to listen to what God has to say about what He wants from me. I don't necessarily have to be on top of everything all the time and be the happy little homemaker that Proverbs 31 woman seems to be. I'm almost certain she was flawed, too.

I'm beginning to see that what God is calling me to do is not hold myself to an impossible standard of perfection. But He wants me to do everything I need to do with grace and love and joy. And to know that it's ok to admit I'm a mess. That's when God can do the most work in me.

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.
Proverbs 31:30 HCSB